Conviction
by Shipping Rates Apply
Summary: After a long day of flower picking with her daughter, Peri contemplates on the life she now leads as a mother and a soldier. But the changes to her everyday life also brought conflict within herself. One-Shot. Revelation Timeline.


.

* * *

Conviction

The heavy flap of a wyvern's wing and the whinny of a pegasus shifted her gaze to the skies. Not out of curiosity and awe **,** but out of pure instinct. As it turned out, heavy flapping of any kind seemed to be the prelude to death for a cavalryman. One swoop from a diving pegasus or wyvern meant sudden impalement or a swift beheading. But she couldn't help but smile once she heard the riders' constant bickering, even from so high above.

"THA'S NOH HOW YOU FLY CIRCLES, YA HOSHIDAN BIRD BRAIN." A young girl's voice said with a thick Nestrian accent.

"O-OH YEAH? THEN TELL ME HOW TO FLY THEN Y-YOU LIZARD GIZZARD...E-EGGNOG!" A trembling yet deep voice retaliated.

"YOU CAH'T EVEN INSULT ME RIGHT."

It seemed that his pegasus neighed in agreement, much to that man's chagrin. She let out a soft chuckle—Peri never thought that she would have her own vassals protecting her, especially ones as lively as the two circling above. Just shy of three and a half years ago, she was in their shoes protecting Crown Prince Xander. Along with the enigmatic Laslow, she was one of the most feared commanders of the Nohrian Royal Guard. She was infamous on the battlefield with her incredibly brutal advances into enemy formations. She was personally eviscerating her foes; impaling any who dared threaten her liege.

She was labeled and targeted by her foes in the field.

But despite her seemingly neutral stance on how her fellow soldiers perceived her as, it slowly began to bother her. No, not because of her stature and her station amongst the elite. But for who she actually was as a person-unfortunately both the Hoshidans and her own countrymen demonized her. Unaware of the sad tale of her youth.

The majority of the army never knew her by name, except for title of _Blue Witch_. That title of fear and disdain added unnecessary weight to her already burdened and fragile heart. Her peers spoke behind her back. Even the efforts made by Xander, Ryoma, and Corrin to ease the tension between the two proud armies were rendered useless. It didn't make the insults and words of the masses hurt any less-in fact, it hurt that much more.

And it took a lot of convincing from Corrin and Hinoka to at least leave the person that had the gall to insult her _alive_.

 _"Why does Lord Xander keep that disrespectful wench by his side? She is unworthy of her station!"_

 _"Have you heard of that Nohrian by Xander's side? I hear she bathed in the blood of our brothers in a battle!"_

 _"That blue-haired psychotic wench, I heard she has a family. She probably forced her husband to her will. Poor man."_

Those were the most common insults she heard at the mess hall. It once got to the point where she treated the jeers and whispers like their meals made by a bad cook: served on cold dishes, burned, and simply forced to take in.

Even so, she made a good number friends with their motley crew of soldiers—people that simply didn't care about who she was. Laslow and Selena were a breath of fresh air, seeing that they were one of the first people to be genuinely accepting of someone like her. It was as if they were already used to her sort of eccentricity. Kagero and Benny were also pretty nice to her, although they inherently disagreed with her amoral perspective both on and off the battlefield. Prince Leo even lectured her on the concept of right and wrong, even though she never really grasped it too well. It was stab enemy, stab enemy, Prince Xander tells her to stop. And the cycle repeated again and again.

In the end they didn't matter much to her. Just hearing Corrin say: "I love you" made it easier to go through her day-to-day activities. It made it easier for her to mute the rest of the army that despised her. She had no reason to raise her lance for them. She fought for _him_ and his noble cause since love, in her mind, was the best remedy for the mild pain she kept sweeping under the rug.

She let out a relaxed sigh and ran her fingers across Kana's hair, brushing loose strands aside to see her sleeping, cherub face. She looked so cute, she thought. It was hard to believe that her little girl had just turned six years old. Three years in the Deeprealm for every year it passes in Hoshido and Nohr.

She noticed the tips of Kana's blue hair were already turning a bright rosy pink. She played with the ends of her own hair, gently rolling a few strands between her fingertips. Peri couldn't help but smile at her daughter's growth. Kana inherited her hair, just like she did from her mother.

All of a sudden, Peri felt genuinely guilty that she couldn't spend much time with her only daughter, especially with the war they still had to finish. She already missed her first two birthdays. She missed her first steps. She missed so much of her little Kana's growth. All of her joy was suddenly stained by a sliver of sadness that crept from the depths of her mind. Her chest tightened and her eyes felt like they were about to burst, thinking about the lost time with her daughter. Then the stray thought of her murdered mother came to disturb her peace. Then the thoughts that if something happened to her during the war, she would leave Kana alone like her mother did. Why did those thoughts have to appear now, she thought. Peri certainly didn't want that fate to befall on her daughter.

Kana definitely did not deserve that. She needed her Mama.

But she wasn't one to hold back her emotions-that made her who she was, after all.

And so Peri cried. But instead of her usual loud shrieks of sadness or discontent, her display was softer. Quieter. The shriek that her retainers were used to was gone, her shoulders shuddering heavily in its stead. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she chanted soft whispers of "I don't want to leave" like a prayer to some goddess that may be listening to her plea. She didn't want Kana to wake up and she definitely did not want her to worry about her pain.

Looking at her daughter's peaceful face, she started doubting her role. What kind of mother was she? Shouldn't she just stay in the Deeprealms with her? Raise her like any normal parent would? Why should she even bother fighting? The love for her daughter certainly overshadowed her duty as a knight and retainer to Prince Xander. But on the other hand, the man she loved was still fighting for the two nations to be free of war and she had to be by his side no matter what. From what felt like a day's worth of misery, Peri gathered her composure.

There were choices that she had to make. One path led to her making her daughter happy but at the same time, unable to protect her beloved husband. And the other, to leave her daughter sad and alone while fighting under some unknown banner for righteousness, uncertain if she or Corrin would ever return to see their daughter alive. Suddenly, Kana stirred from her nap and looked at her with sleepy yet vibrant eyes.

"Mama?" The little girl looked at her with worry, she noticed her mother's eyes were red and her eyeliner seemed to melt from the corners of her eyes. "Are you okay? Were you crying?"

Peri took one deep breath, closing her eyes and wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her dress. Her eyeliner lefta dark smudge on its blanched fabric. Peri gently sat Kana up and kissed her forehead. In hindsight, she never controlled her tears for anyone, not even for Corrin.

"Yes, my sweetie pookie-ums." She said. "I'm sorry about that, Mama's eyes are okay now."

And with a very bright grin and a missing front baby tooth, Kana kissed her mother's cheek and simply said:

"I love you, Mama! I hope this present can stop you from crying every day!"

Peri quickly embraced her daughter tightly, jolting the young girl awake. Even though the little girl was confused with her mother's sudden burst of affection, she returned it all the same. Peri knew that Kana was too young to comprehend the impact of her words; nevertheless, it helped confirm the decisions she would make afterward.

"And I love you so, so much my little flower girl." She said, nudging her head closer to her daughter's. Her voice seemed raspy, but to Kana it was comforting to her ears. And as Kana buried her head under her mother's arms, tears began to gently roll down Peri's cheeks. This time, it was not out of sadness but rather out of the love and joy from her daughter's words and actions.

She was the only other reason why she kept fighting, after all.

"I promise I won't ever leave."

* * *

 **A/N:**

Hey I'm not dead. Just a short piece with Peri and Kana. I honestly think that they have the best mother-daughter dynamic in the game. They have such a beautiful support and you can see how Peri remained who she was, despite her dark past and it seems like she spoils the daylights out of her daughter! So precious. Side note, I deleted it because I do want feedback from it from both grammatical perspectives and how this one-shot flowed overall.

Side note, sorry for not updating _Together Forever_ as often as I should. I just have a bunch of other things to do in the real world. Daughter in Preschool, Fates, Overwatch. Uhh, work.

On a more personal note, Peri actually reminds me a lot of my wife when she was still with us. Not literally like Peri with the whole dark past and strange mentality, but more on how she has so much capacity to love.

Kind of a small dedicated piece to her.

Hope you guys enjoyed this.

\- SRA

 _To Anne_


End file.
